More Than This

I haven't written a post in my music blog in a bit. It's not that I haven't been listening to some wonderful, excellent, new and older music! I think, maybe, it's that I've just been finding so much and I've been so busy that I haven't really had the time to really think about it and write down those thoughts. Or, maybe, it's that I haven't really been truly struck by any single song or piece of a song enough to really write about it. Who really knows - and who really cares.

Recently, though, it has come to my attention that I pretty much love every single Death Cab for Cutie song that I hear! In fact, I think I've come to accept them as part of me - part of who I am. The only other band that I've had those feelings for is U2 - but really, just the classic U2. And more specifically, The Edge (the lead guitarist for U2 who I believe gives them their recognizable sound other than Bono's voice. But Bono's voice without The Edge doesn't sound like U2, either. It really is The Edge's melodic, atmospheric, ringing guitar that gives them their sound.) However, whereas I feel more like U2 was part of the shaping of who I've become, I feel like DCFC is more just in sync with who I am, rather than necessarily shaping me - I'm already shaped!

So I know I've already posted about a couple of DCFC songs, so maybe it's obvious how I feel about them, but here's another one, St.Peter's Cathedral:

It's another amateur original music video (not an official one - there may not be an official one).

The first time I heard this song on Pandora, I didn't click the thumbs-up icon because I read the lyrics and found myself feeling a little...well, unsure.

Ok, here's how it goes: so he's singing about the Cathedral, that it's like the architecture is basically saying how the catholics feel - that they are yearning for something, hoping for something beyond this life. In fact, as we know, they believe in heaven and hell as the places where our souls go after we die.

St. Peter's cathedral
Built of granite
Ever fearful of the answer
When the candle in the tunnel
Is flickering and sputters
And fading faster
It's only then that you will know
What lies above or down below
Or if these fictions only prove
How much you've really got to lose

At St. Peter's cathedral
There is stained glass
There's a steeple that is reaching
Up towards the heavens
Such ambition never failing to amaze me
It's either quite a master plan
Or just chemicals that help us understand
That when our hearts stop ticking
This is the end
And there's nothing past this

There's nothing past this

And then he repeats that last line for the rest of the song. Those lyrics with the music underlying...swelling and rolling, changing chords from something more positive (major chords) to more sad and diminished (non-major chords - maybe minor, maybe diminished, I don't know! Turns out, I don't have "perfect pitch") - they make me feel so much.

First, it's almost like I feel hopeful - like there's something serene about accepting that this is it, there's nothing more than this one life, this one existence. It's also a familiar, comfortable feeling because I've believed that for so long. I've always felt a little superior to those who (as I believed) erroneously "fell for" the "bullshit" dished out by the religions of the world that say otherwise. And, in a way, I almost think I can hear that same air of superiority in the song - in the lyrics - which now kinda rubs me a little the wrong way. Like it's a little hurtful or insulting. Even though I was just there - I was just in agreement with them less than a year ago!

Then, the chord changes - it's the same overlying melody for the lyrics, but a different underlying chord - and it feels sad. Cause yeah, it's sad if this really is just it - "when our hearts stop ticking this is the end". Then, when I was listening to this the other day (on repeat cause I'm like that), I thought to myself, "Oh, he just doesn't know! But it really is good news..." and then it occured to me that Bible-thumpers have that slogan about "spreading the good news", and it occured to me that, wow, I'm like a fucking Bible-thumper!

Except I'm not.

But I do think they just don't know the good news. Most people don't know the news I'd like to share - but not in a forceful way, that's completely the opposite of my purpose. My purpose is just to provide the information - then everyone else can make their own decisions, form their own opinions, figure out their own beliefs - I have no investment in anyone else believing the same shit as I do. I certainly don't expect it! And I also invite more information coming back to me...

If I could, though, I would like to give Death Cab for Cutie a big hug and say...well, actually, I'm pretty sure there is more than this.