[Started writing this as soon as I got home from the concert on Saturday, April 21st, 2012] I saw them tonight at the Warfield in San Francisco. It was epic. The kind of epic that you feel about a guilty pleasure that's about to come out in the open! I don't know why they aren't bigger - I kind of expected that they would have a show at Oracle Arena or other such stadium-sized places. But no, they were in a small theater, with seats removed in the orchestra, but sectioned/marked off and separated by railings. We were at a table further back - the "accessible" section - I had no idea what I was purchasing when I got the tickets! Anyway, we got a table, which we might have had to share with others if there were others, but there weren't - well, until much later in the evening, and it's hard to know where those people came from.
Anyway, the opening acts were Now, Now and Vacationer, both of which were also good, if not great! I didn't get to see Now, Now much because I guess they started before I got in (around 8:30pm - show was supposed to start at 9pm). I liked what I heard and the little that I saw. Before I went to find my seat, I purchased some merch - a t-shirt and signed poster. I was so excited - I was talking to the cashier and people in line about how great The Naked and Famous are and how I can't believe they aren't bigger (none of my friends had heard of them!) and they were all agreeing - the couple in line especially had a story about how they saw them open for a band last year and they knew they needed to see just them! The cashier/merch clerk said that doesn't usually happen so quickly (to go from opening for someone else to being the headlining act in one year)! Yeah, I agreed - they're just so amazing!
The truth is - they are talented and their music is stylish and smart. The Naked and Famous are about to get huge because they are huge - their sound is huge! It's kind of in the creation that they will be huge! For how long is a different question...but as long as they want, I'd suppose.
They're also kiwis - from New Zealand! That's exotic and so are their accents!
Tomorrow is the 16th anniversary of my good friend, Abby,'s death. I am feeling her absence again lately. She's been in my dreams since her death - on and off - and I wonder if we would've stayed good friends if she had lived. I guess I hope so, but I guess I'll never know for sure. I guess I don't know how much I may or may not have meant to her. She has told me in my dreams that she loves me, though. She has remained a good friend in my dreams.
This first song played on the radio when I knew her in our senior year of high school - "Protection" by Massive Attack. I always wanted to be able to protect her - she was sick and undergoing chemotherapy and radiation therapy. I wanted to make her healthy again. Alas, I couldn't do it. I couldn't protect her.
Abby and I were both Ani Difranco fans in high school - before Ani got "big" in the lesbian, college scene. Ani Difranco was from Buffalo, NY, and we lived in Rochester, NY - only an hour east of Buffalo - so she was considered "local" at the time. In fact, it was her song, "In or Out", that I heard on the radio (80.5 WBER - "Rochester's Real Modern Rock Station", one of the only non-commercial, non-college radio stations in the country), that helped me to realize that it was ok to be bisexual (first step for me in coming out as a lesbian). Ani was a kind of heroine for us lesbians, to be honest, even though she never claimed the title - she was always adamant about saying she was "bisexual" and not a lesbian. In the end, I think she married a dude and had a kid, although I'm pretty sure she got divorced from him a few years ago. I don't know or care how she identifies anymore. She was instrumental in helping me come out at the time and thus I am grateful for her courage - and talent. Abby, too - she was open about identifying as bisexual as well. I think this album, Little Plastic Castles, may have been released after her death, but I always felt this song so strongly for her - "Pulse" by Ani Difranco.
I'd offer you my pulse
Give you my breath
Finally, this last one is also Ani - singing the age old hymn, "Amazing Grace". I believe this song came out on her "Living in Clip" album, which was an album of live performances, although this performance sounds like it was recorded in a studio. In any case, it either came out right before her death or right after it and was so poignant to me because they sang the hymn at her memorial. I felt like this version was almost meant for Abby. Therefore, I think of Abby every single time I hear it. Maybe it will be the sweet sound that saves a wretch like me...
I haven't written a post in my music blog in a bit. It's not that I haven't been listening to some wonderful, excellent, new and older music! I think, maybe, it's that I've just been finding so much and I've been so busy that I haven't really had the time to really think about it and write down those thoughts. Or, maybe, it's that I haven't really been truly struck by any single song or piece of a song enough to really write about it. Who really knows - and who really cares.
Recently, though, it has come to my attention that I pretty much love every single Death Cab for Cutie song that I hear! In fact, I think I've come to accept them as part of me - part of who I am. The only other band that I've had those feelings for is U2 - but really, just the classic U2. And more specifically, The Edge (the lead guitarist for U2 who I believe gives them their recognizable sound other than Bono's voice. But Bono's voice without The Edge doesn't sound like U2, either. It really is The Edge's melodic, atmospheric, ringing guitar that gives them their sound.) However, whereas I feel more like U2 was part of the shaping of who I've become, I feel like DCFC is more just in sync with who I am, rather than necessarily shaping me - I'm already shaped!
So I know I've already posted about a couple of DCFC songs, so maybe it's obvious how I feel about them, but here's another one, St.Peter's Cathedral:
It's another amateur original music video (not an official one - there may not be an official one).
The first time I heard this song on Pandora, I didn't click the thumbs-up icon because I read the lyrics and found myself feeling a little...well, unsure.
Ok, here's how it goes: so he's singing about the Cathedral, that it's like the architecture is basically saying how the catholics feel - that they are yearning for something, hoping for something beyond this life. In fact, as we know, they believe in heaven and hell as the places where our souls go after we die.
St. Peter's cathedral
Built of granite
Ever fearful of the answer
When the candle in the tunnel
Is flickering and sputters
And fading faster
It's only then that you will know
What lies above or down below
Or if these fictions only prove
How much you've really got to lose
At St. Peter's cathedral
There is stained glass
There's a steeple that is reaching
Up towards the heavens
Such ambition never failing to amaze me
It's either quite a master plan
Or just chemicals that help us understand
That when our hearts stop ticking
This is the end
And there's nothing past this
There's nothing past this
And then he repeats that last line for the rest of the song. Those lyrics with the music underlying...swelling and rolling, changing chords from something more positive (major chords) to more sad and diminished (non-major chords - maybe minor, maybe diminished, I don't know! Turns out, I don't have "perfect pitch") - they make me feel so much.
First, it's almost like I feel hopeful - like there's something serene about accepting that this is it, there's nothing more than this one life, this one existence. It's also a familiar, comfortable feeling because I've believed that for so long. I've always felt a little superior to those who (as I believed) erroneously "fell for" the "bullshit" dished out by the religions of the world that say otherwise. And, in a way, I almost think I can hear that same air of superiority in the song - in the lyrics - which now kinda rubs me a little the wrong way. Like it's a little hurtful or insulting. Even though I was just there - I was just in agreement with them less than a year ago!
Then, the chord changes - it's the same overlying melody for the lyrics, but a different underlying chord - and it feels sad. Cause yeah, it's sad if this really is just it - "when our hearts stop ticking this is the end". Then, when I was listening to this the other day (on repeat cause I'm like that), I thought to myself, "Oh, he just doesn't know! But it really is good news..." and then it occured to me that Bible-thumpers have that slogan about "spreading the good news", and it occured to me that, wow, I'm like a fucking Bible-thumper!
Except I'm not.
But I do think they just don't know the good news. Most people don't know the news I'd like to share - but not in a forceful way, that's completely the opposite of my purpose. My purpose is just to provide the information - then everyone else can make their own decisions, form their own opinions, figure out their own beliefs - I have no investment in anyone else believing the same shit as I do. I certainly don't expect it! And I also invite more information coming back to me...
If I could, though, I would like to give Death Cab for Cutie a big hug and say...well, actually, I'm pretty sure there is more than this.
I've decided to list a bunch of songs together in one post, all similar in my heart right now.
Dream Scream - I guess Daniel Johnston is the original writer/creator of this song, but I'm enjoying the cover by Death Cab for Cutie.
The elements that strike me about this song is 1) the lyrics - I feel like I've thought them, felt them, maybe even said them (some) before... 2) the slow, disjointed pace; crashing cymbals; atmospheric, haunting synth sounds 3) how it really doesn't seem to go anywhere but then at the end, the last minute of the almost 7 min song is oddly upbeat - a very familiar melody. Just really strange at that point. Like - what? Why is it suddenly better? Maybe it's just a reflection of Daniel Johnston's struggle with manic depression...
We Own the Sky - by M83. I hadn't heard of this band but my Pandora station played this song and I loved it! So I downloaded/bought it.
Three reasons that I like this song: 1) It makes me feel part of something bigger than myself - like part of the underlying fabric of the universe - that which [maybe] encodes (and remembers) everything, like our collective consciousness. I think this feeling could be attributed to the background static-sound that permeates throughout the song, but also the soft-reverb of the vocals...and, of course, the title - We Own the Sky - of course! (but we don't "own" it... we are it.) 2) I find the part with the beautiful, angelic-sounding, repetitious vocals singing...I'm not sure what s/he's singing, "it's coming"? Yeah, it does sound like there's anticipation of something but what is irrelevant - the "official" video seems to indicate that 'it' is boxes that float in the sky. That's just stupid, in my opinion. Floating, alien boxes? I mean, WTF? Eh, but I guess it's an original idea. So whatever. To each their own. 3) Ok, I don't have a 3rd. I just like odd numbers. And lists of 3. Well, I always like crescendos... (there's a mini-crescendo before the part mentioned in 2).)
Long Division- another Death Cab song.. So it looks like I'm a fairly big Death Cab for Cutie fan. It turns out that these skinny, hipster-boys are pretty darn talented. [I saw them at Oakland's Oracle Arena a few years ago as part of 105.3's "BFD" - I saw Death Cab, Bloc Party, The Killers, Franz Ferdinand - I mean, jeesh, what a line up!! Anyway, I was surprised at how toothpick-looking these boys were - and young. Yeah, it made me regret, yet again, that I didn't pursue my dream of being a musician more adamantly. But...well, my life isn't over yet.]
[Side note: I just found this recording of them rehearsing this song and they do not look nearly as skinny as I remember...especially the lead singer! Maybe he put on some weight since I saw them...I think I saw them in December, 2008.]
Why do I love thee, oh Death Cab for Cutie? Because...because: 1) You respect the piano. 2) Your lyrics and music are intelligent. 3) I can sing along to your songs - apparently we share a vocal range. Oh, and I can play the piano pieces, as well...and sing at the same time! (maybe I shall post this, too...)
Long division. Man, I hate long division, don't you? Remainders feel like something's wrong, they leave me feeling somehow incomplete. What do you do with the remainder? Toss it? Let them add up, like dried saliva collecting in the corners of your mouth? [ewww] Just lick it, chew it up. Chomp chomp.
Punching in a Dream - by The Naked and Famous. I've also come to accept that I'm a pretty big The Naked and Famous fan! That's ok cause they're from New Zealand... which is pretty f-ing hot!
Have you ever had a dream where you swear-to-God you screamed for real? Well, I'm not talking about screaming in fear or being frightened, but more like yelling at someone - I have! Sometimes I have dreams where I get to do what I wouldn't do in my waking life - such as yelling at someone who has angered me so. Strangely, it can be just as cathartic - if not more so - to do it in your dreams. This happened to me semi-recently - the dream where I yelled at someone. I mean, I think I only said something like, "YOU HURT ME!! I'M SO ANGRY AT YOU! WHY DID YOU HURT ME?!" But damn...it felt good to yell it to her in my dream like that. Like punching in a dream.
Dawn of the Dead - by Does it Offend You, Yeah?
This song is totally fun and makes me feel like dancing! In fact, I have been dancing to it - but really just by myself since I'm almost always by myself... and they don't play good music like this at the clubs around here...
What I like: 1) the beat (for sure!) 2) the singer's British accent ("I won't sit down and say 'that will do' - I'm afraid") 3) the way it makes me feel like I'm ok on my own - not just ok...but GREAT!
I leave you with that as my last song on this "mix tape". I suppose I went from sadness to joy in this mix...which is kinda how I've evolved over the past week as I've been writing this post, anyway, so that makes sense! "If you say so - I'll leave home!"
One of the things that I try to convey to the youth of today (hahaha - I used to be "the youth of today"!) when talking about education and what the purpose of college is, or education, really, is that it's not just about getting a fucking job. If you are just trying to get a better job, you will never be truly successful in education. You might as well go to vocational school - and there's nothing wrong with that, it's just not about education or knowledge or learning - even though it is about literally learning some skills that will help you get a particular job. This song, Too Close To the Sun by The Sunset Curse, is a clear reference to the Greek myth of Icarus, who, with his father, the master craftsman, Daedalus, was stranded on the island of Crete. To get off the island, Daedalus builds wings made of wax for Icarus to wear but warns him not to fly too close to the sun.
And then what happens? You know. Human nature is all too easy to predict.
But you knew the story, anyway, because it's part of our collective knowledge or education. And here, in this song, The Sunset Curse taps into this collective knowledge to convey a truth we all understand too well without having to explain or describe. I remember when I first learned what the word, 'hubris', means. It was my least favorite teacher (least favorite in that I thought he was an asshole and he was to me, but he did teach me what he was meant to teach me) in high school English class, reading the ancient Greek play Oedipus Rex, that taught us about hubris. I thought it ironic because he seemed to possess excessive pride, himself, but he never really acted on it and thus, it never resulted in tragedy. He was just an arrogant asshole. (My classmates don't seem to agree on this point, though, so I'll just accept that maybe he was just an asshole to me and several people I cared about, and maybe not everyone else.) Ever since I learned the meaning of hubris and how it results in tragedy, I've been very conscientious of my own hubristic behaviors. Maybe even thinking that I can control it is another part of hubris.
Back to the music. It's a fun, upbeat, dancey song. It makes me want to dance. It does not feel tragic at all, such as the title and reference to the Greek myth imply. However, I think this open, up-beat, maybe even optimistic sound has more to do with the arrogance or excessive self-confidence - maybe self-importance - that is hubris...before the fall of the tragic hero. In fact, I think that's the case, since, with the repetition of the chorus,
Your wings are gonna burn
Your wings are gonna burn
Your wings are gonna burn
it suggests that the fall has not happened yet, but that it is "gonna" happen. In fact, several points in the piece have a "larger-than-life" feel, beginning with the intro - maybe this is created through the hollow reverb effect on those first few measures of break-beats before the synth melody comes in and then it diminishes by the time the guitar and vocals come in. Still, the steady beat throughout continues to have this heavy reverb effect, continuing to feel big and important.
It's hard to know if this song is meant as a warning to others or to oneself. It's not dark and angry feeling, so maybe I would take it as a warning to oneself - remember: my wings are gonna burn (if I fly too close to the sun).
I just wanted to add a few more thoughts on my first two posts.
First, I want to mention my new favorite part in The Sun by The Naked and Famous - it's between the two verses I presented in my post. I think it is in the third verse (which I didn't post) when the monotone vocals break for a line - well, really, it's just the male's voice that breaks monotone and he actually sings the line, "Now I can't feel a thing" in a slightly higher-pitched melody, higher than the female's monotone voice. I must say - I love that!! It's just for the line but clearly it's an emphasis on that line. This technique of vocals going out of their regular range or at least reversing roles - such as a soprano singing lower than a tenor - is just so cool to me! I certainly don't think it would work for an entire song, (although, maybe it could), but I generally think it's a really beautiful way of accentuating a line or just plain changing things up a little.
Second, in They Move on Tracks of Never-Ending Light by This Will Destroy You, I realized that I may be getting confused between actual notes being played and the 'delay' effect. I absolutely love 'delay' so it's not about disliking the sound - most of the beginning of the piece sounds almost like long stretches of single notes being played using a 'delay' or 'echo' effect such that it sounds like two notes or a note with a harmonic echoing after it. In fact, that may be what's happening, but I definitely hear two notes - one main one and one softer, but different, like a lower string on the guitar being strum inbetween beats - as in, the down-up strokes where the down is louder and more dominant, on the beat, and the up is lighter, quieter and on the off-beat. However, I cannot seem to discern between the two possibilities - an 'echo' or 'delay' effect or two notes strum in that down-up fashion! I just thought I'd share my confusion because I don't mean to claim I can hear everything the way it's actually composed and played.
Since this is my launch, I've decided to add a second post to this blog, on the first day of my new music blog. The song I'm writing about here is an instrumental, They Move On Tracks of Never-Ending Light by This Will Destroy You.
If you're anything like me in that when you get into a song, you put it on repeat and listen to it over and over again to really feel it, then you'll notice that the song is a journey - a linear journey, really. You start in one place - a dark and lonely place - but you end up in a very different place - a light, free and peaceful serenity. This is a somewhat subtle effect since the whole song moves at a fairly moderate pace - not too fast, not too slow (maybe a little on the slow side) - for about seven minutes, so if you just let yourself go with it, you may forget from whence you came. It becomes obvious, however, if you have it on "repeat" and end up back at the beginning moments after the end - then you really can feel the volume of spacetime through which the piece carried you.
The other part of the song you might notice is the perpetual looping of short(ish) riffs/melodies or long, sustained chords. They layer on top of each other, seamlessly moving from one to the next via overlap. It's this quality that makes me think that I could not only write something similar, but also play it live using a looping machine and syncing it to a digital multi-track player such as Garageband. But it doesn't sound cheap or amateur - more minimalistic and inspirational (well, inspirational to me in that I am inspired to write and perform similarly). I tend to like minimalism, too. In fact, one of my own influences is Steve Reich, one of the original "minimalists" and experimental musicians. This song may have influences from him as well, at least in the musical, collective consciousness.
Another interesting point to make, and link to Steve Reich, is the clear use of the reverse-loop which runs through the end of the piece. This is a technique first developed by the early electronic, experimental musicians, such as Reich, in which you make a tape loop, then you flip it so that it plays in the reverse direction. Clearly, its resulting sound is dramatically different from the forward play, and one thing you notice is the way tones go from being spread out to a more punched, singular peak, then end suddenly. It's hard for me to articulate what I mean but imagine it like this (since sound is composed of waves): when you stick your finger in a still pond and cause at first just one dip, which then ripples out to form multiple archs and crests, the concentric circles or waves get smaller in amplitude and more spread out from each other as they move away from where you stuck your finger in the pond - that's how a sound would work in the forward direction, too, but if you were to imagine it going from being spread out to refining into a point, well that's what sound is like when played in the reverse. It's an easy-enough thing to pick out once you recognize it. The technique, as simple as it is, is employed in many, if not most, popular music today. However, today, of course, people don't use the old-fashioned tape loops - they use digital loopers which, with a button or switch, can easily reverse it or perform any number of digital manipulations to it (a.k.a. digital effects). In fact, the sound can be very similar to the sound of bowed string instruments, which is also employed in this piece. The difference is in the "attack" (initial striking of the note), or lack thereof in bowed string instrumentals, whereas for a reverse tape loop, you can hear the attack, but it's at the end of the note rather than the beginning. I'd imagine that only a trained ear would be able to discern the difference between a forward and reverse loop of a really long, sustained note played by a bowed string instrument.
There's a clear turning point in the piece, I believe, which is when the guitar riff seems to get stuck in a two note loop for an extended period of time, then some soothing synth chords come in, sounding a bit like bowed notes, then the beat finally arrives. The drum beat is not dramatic but it's colorful enough that it feels like it picks up the pace of the piece. Then it cuts out again and the next guitar riff/melody that develops and loops for the rest of the piece is clearly much more hopeful sounding than the previous riff/melody. For one, it's more than just a two-note riff, it steps down a few notes, then climbs up a couple, as if to say, "you mean, like this? This is how you pick yourself back up again?"
That's how I feel at the end of the piece, kind of humbled, kind of relieved, kind of optimistic, but not overly. I feel like, "ok, I'll try."
The trick is: don't repeat the piece after that because then you go back to the beginning...to that place where you felt hopeless.
